The Gastronomist Manifesto

Chefs of the World Unite!

Poverty Food Challenge! Results!

So I decided that regardless of the fact that I have nothing in my kitchen but a few misc. staples and accumulating dust, I still wanted to do something interesting with the food I have on hand. This is probably the worst I could’ve done with a terrible situation. Edible? For sure. Would I make it again? Never. To recap my challenge had to include and utilize as much as I could of marinara sauce,an onion, a purple potato, brown rice, broccoli stems and peanut butter. In the end I chose to omit the marinara altogether.


Granted, it looks like radioactive relish on raw meat.

Step one: make a cake out of cooked brown rice and potato.

Step two: make a sort of relish out of onion and broccoli.

Step three: make a simple vinaigrette out of peanut butter and kitchen staples.

I used a bit of parchment paper to keep my hands clean as I mashed brown rice and purple potato together with a bit of salt. Kind of hard to tell due to my crummy Sony camera, but it looked a hell of a lot like marbled ground beef (eww.)


Not the color of anything you should ever put into your mouth.

Aside from a basic seasoning of salt and pepper I really didn’t touch this, although the possibilities for seasonings would’ve been endless. All the same, there was in the end no escaping the fact that these patties looked like uncooked beef in the end. It was really unappetizing but the flavor was just fine. Using the parchment paper as protection to mash the rice and potato together was also pretty genius. Not a bad way to form a veggie patty at all.

For the relish I minced half an onion and threw it in a pan on low heat to carmalize along with some fennel seeds for flavor. Next steamed the broccoli stems, minced them into oblivion and added them to the pan with one capful of apple cider vinegar, one teaspoon sugar and salt and pepper.

So good…? It was actually quite edible. As I said, this recipe will not be repeated. However, I think I still managed to prove my initial point. You can experiment and be creative with whatever is lying around. Had I just steamed broccoli, boiled the potato and served brown rice with sauce it probably would’ve tasted better, yes, but where’s the fucking adventure in that? Why go conventional if you can make mutant latkes with broccoli relish?

Well, maybe conventional has its upsides, but I tried, goddammit.

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